We all encounter negative feelings. Whether we are young or old, students or employees, or a professional or non-professional, no person, to my understanding, is immune from negative feelings. Now, let me just say, I’m not a specialist in Psychology. I’m just trying to understand what negative feelings are and how to deal with them.
Understanding these feelings will help us better cope with them so that we won’t allow them to grip us. We need to take control of our feelings because they are ours. We are responsible for our brain and the feelings generated from it.
Negative feelings are very natural and they are there for a reason. Nothing we have in our body is there just because they happen to be there, but they have a function to indicate something to us. We should listen to these feelings. They can be very healthy in some situations to help us understand the situation we are in. In other words, they are a mechanism our body uses to help us cope with situations.
If we are in a dangerous situation, feelings of fear would help us run away to survive. Imagine you are going to a funeral of a friend or family member, and all you do there is laugh and joke. Wouldn’t that be out of place? The appropriate behavior would be showing sympathy and sadness. If you didn’t pass a test, and you start to feel some guilt because you didn’t study well, then such a feeling is in place. It could be a positive thing as it could be a source of motivation to study better for the next test. So in such situations these negative feelings are healthy and in the right place.
Yet, if we have these set of feelings not in the right place, which causes you to be miserable and sad on continuous basis, then here these negative feelings are unhealthy and might need medical attention if it takes longer than normal time to go away. Unhealthy feelings that are not managed could be very toxic on the body and would eventually cause chronic stress, which upsets the body’s hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system.
Normal time can vary from one person to another, depending on the person’s situation and experience. Grieving would go into stages- from denial, to being mad at the source of the cause of the feeling, to finally accepting the situation that happened and approach life again. These stages would vary. One person could go through them in one hour and another might take years. Someone else might not even reach to the last stage without working hard on it.
It’s important to learn how to deal with negative people in our circles. That could be a boss, a teacher, a colleague or even a family member.
In some situations it could be easier than others. If you are working at a company but you feel the environment is toxic from the top down, which is not that easy to change, then you might want to find another company to work for. That might not be the case when you are at a school and you can’t change your teacher or your colleagues in the office or classroom. Or the worse case, a family member. It’s important that you deal with such feelings.
We need to understand these feelings, the root cause, and yet don’t internalize and pile them up over and over till they come out unhinged. Forgive the person causing these negative feelings. Then letting go is an important attitude. You set the tone and be the change you want in your environment. It’s easy to walk away from a boss but it might not be easy to walk away from a mother or a father. Show them sympathy and be compassionate.
Never ignore negative feelings coming towards you, but always have the strength to face them with love and humility. Never ignore negative feelings from within. Work on understanding them and changing them. Put the effort needed to your relationships. Part of that is understanding negative feelings.
If your kids are suffering from such negatives emotions, help them and don’t ignore it. Some issues might go away growing up, while other things might not. Always try hard to understand your child’s feelings and why s/he is feeling that way. Consult with your health provider if you try, yet you can’t figure out what’s going on.
Finally here are some points on how to deal with negative emotions:
- Don’t take things out of its reality by repeating it in your mind over and over.
- Forgive others and have grace towards those who offend you.
- Accept the bad feelings and don’t blame others.
- Work on ways to make things better.
- Relax with some hobbies like reading, walking or exercise to help you.
- Communicate with a friend or someone you trust.
- Prepare yourself in advance on how to deal with your feelings and symptoms.
- Concentrate on the present and the future, rather than continuously visiting the past.
Until next time, remember, our words and actions really do matter!
Notes :
Ideas and details obtained from;
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/somatic-psychology/201306/what-s-wrong-negative-emotions
https://www.success.com/john-c-maxwell-the-3-things-i-know-to-be-true/
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/negative-emotions
https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-do-thoughts-and-emotions-affect-health
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/stressful-feelings.html
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