In any environment whether that is at home, or work, at school or the social club, or even at the Church. We encounter people of different ages and backgrounds. We can agree with them on things but disagree on other things. We might hear a message that make us feel bad. We might even understand what is behind this message. The way we approach the person from whom the message came is much more important than what we would say to him or her. Let us consider the following points;
How to approach negative communication is more important than what we say!
The way to communicate sometimes is even much more important than the message we try communicate. If we go to this person and say ( you hurt me 😦 ) the response usually will be ( No; I didn’t even touch you ) a defensive mechanism will take place which will make our approach towards the situation even more difficult. On the flip side, if we approach that person and say ( I’m being hurt ) the response usually will be ( Why ? what’s going on? ) a response of curiosity and concern will take place. In the latter scenario we can present our problem with the first person. Unless we are dealing with a mean person, and that will help us also understand whom are our true friends and whom we should stay away from.
We can say how we felt when they said what they said, and maybe we can also listen and understand why they said so. Then, they might realize they were wrong and apologize, or they might explain why they said what they did. Let us listen to the reason or reasons and we might even take that to our benefit. We also should not over do it and allow the other partner to take advantage of us by knowing what hurt and trigger us to keep using it against us. This is especially important in the case of the kids at school.
Don’t take words out of context!
We often hear a message, and couple of words stick in our brains out of a long conversation. Our brain starts to over analyze the words and build a full scenario of what that person must have meant from these words. Unless they are very clear words, we better stay with the simple general view of the conversation. Yes, we have to be smart and read between the lines as they say, but also let us not waste too much brain energy in over analyzing. Brain energy, emotions, and time are more important for our growth to achieve our goals than over analyzing.
Let us remember to use the same approach with our kids; so in return they will learn it as well. It’s not about scoring points against each other in the living room, classroom, or the office but rather it’s about lifting each other up and understanding both sides for better communication. With smooth communication, relationships are built!
Until next time remember our words and actions really do matter!
Miss Sue's Skills 4 Success 