Helping Young Children Adjust to New Routines at School or Childcare

I hope your children are adjusting well to being back at school and getting a good handle on their new routines! Forming and keeping new routines at school and childcare can be very challenging. They can be especially difficult for very young children, ages infant-5 years old. Children at this age might have separation anxiety, which can be overwhelming and distracting in the classroom environment.  For some children, their first day at school or childcare may be their first time away from their parents or caregivers, which makes separation anxiety even more intense. However, in time, the anxiety and fear will subside!! If you’re interested, I could write a post in more detail about how to deal with separation anxiety… please send me a note in the comments section!

You might ask, how long will it take for the children to adjust to their new surroundings and to follow and form a routine? The answer is: every child is different, depending on their development and temperament. Neuroscience and behavioral theories tell us that in general, it takes 21 days to form a new habit if it is practiced with consistency. That could be a challenge for children at such a young age. Some kids might be fine right away, while for others it might take a few weeks; and still for other kids it may take several months. However, there are several strategies teachers or caregivers can use to help. For the sake of ease and clarity, from here and onward in this post, when I refer to teachers, I am referring to preschool and kindergarten teachers, childcare teachers and all other caregivers that might be teaching children during the day at a school, center, or in a home.

Strategies

1. Relationships Matter

I’ve mentioned the importance of relationships before here on the blog, and I’m bringing it up here also because they are so vital! When a child enters a new school or daycare setting, it’s important that the child and teacher form a positive, sound, and robust relationship. Greet each child by name daily upon arrival. Get down to the child’s level and give eye contact. Take time to get to know the children in your care. Notice what their favorite activities are. Find out their favorite toys and other interests. When they are having those sad moments, first try to understand why. This will help the children express themselves. Show empathy and tell children you understand their feelings. This will help create a bond and to connect. Then, when they’re having a difficult arrival, you may be able to distract them with the things they love to do, which will help them settle in. Once they get to know you better and have come to trust and like you, they will be able to separate from their parents faster. Don’t try to raise the bar too quickly with the kids. Keep your expectations within normal level, because aiming for a higher standard too soon might have negative consequences. You might confuse the children further. The first month or so is getting them used to everything. Remember, it will get better in time!

2. Transition songs

If you use the same song at the same time each day, this will help signal to children what is coming up in their day. For example, at the beginning of your day, you may want to sing a hello song with the children. My favorite is the Hello Song by Dr. Jean. At clean up time, sing a clean up song. My favorite is the Clean Up song by Barney. There are several other great hello and clean up songs out there on YouTube as well.  

3. Visual schedules

Hang a visual schedule somewhere in the room so that you can show the children what will be going on at school each day. Talk about the schedule often in the beginning of the year. Point to each picture and describe what it means. If the kids are old enough to talk, have them repeat each part of the schedule back to you. After a couple of weeks, you could use it as a game. Show a picture from the schedule and ask the kids what part of the day does the picture represent. Children should also be able to go back and look at the schedule independently throughout the day.

How can parents help?

• At drop off time, look your child in the eyes and say that you are leaving, but you will be back soon. Then say goodbye. Please DO NOT sneak out of the room! When you sneak out, the child will eventually notice you are gone and might start to cry or be upset. Children need the reassurance that you love them and will be back soon. If you suddenly disappear, they will be wondering what happened to you. 
• Leave the room as fast as you can. I know it’s hard to watch your child cry and feel distressed, but usually the faster the parents leave, the quicker the children calm down and understand that mom or dad is leaving now and will be back later. When you linger in the room, children with separation anxiety might keep crying to get you to spend more time there. They are not learning the routine when you hang out in the room for a long time.
• Pick up your child consistently at the same time, as much as possible and on time please! At the end of the day when children are being picked up, all the kids see all the other kids leaving and start to understand that their parents will be coming back soon as well. But when parents arrive late to pick up, children may start to feel worried or upset because they see everyone else leaving and wonder, “Is my mommy or daddy coming back? Where are they?” One more thing to add here. Teachers love your kids, but they also have lives outside of the classroom. They have things to do and people to see. Some might have their own kids to go pick up. If you’re late, you are making the teacher late and behind schedule. When you are on time, you are sending the message to the teacher that you care and are respectful of his or her time.

 Make your routine consistent!

Remember, children need consistency. When the same activities happen at the same time each day, kids start to know what to expect. This will help their anxiety levels go down. For example, go outside to play at the same time everyday. Try your best to follow your daily schedule. I know in the beginning of the year you may need to tweak a few things, but try to get it worked out and stick to it as soon as possible!!

I hope the children in your care will pick up the routines you have planned for the school year quickly to help them grow, develop, and move on to the next stages in their lives with confidence!

Remember, if you are interested in learning more about how to deal with separation anxiety, leave me a comment and I will write a new post about it! And remember, our words and actions really do matter!

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